Alone / Sam(a)...

Maybe you are right after a breakup. Maybe it has been a while. Or you can be completely alone. Alone in your body. Alone in a space. Alone in a relationship. Alone in your thoughts, emotionally alone. And yet you may have a partner and a family, or be part of a team or a group. It may have been this way for a long time, only recently, or perhaps not anymore—but you still remember. Maybe you have always felt alone, or maybe the feeling appeared suddenly. Let us give this aloneness a space, silence, a voice and movement. We will listen to what it is saying and where it comes from.

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Patterns of relational wounds reflect our attachment experiences: they reveal how the moments in childhood when we felt abandoned, rejected, humiliated, betrayed, or treated unfairly continue to live on in our adult relationships.

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What once helped us preserve a relationship or protect ourselves from pain can later, without us even noticing, become a basic relational pattern. We cling or keep our distance. We prove ourselves, adapt, control, rescue, fight, or disappear before the other person has the chance to reject us.

Change begins when we recognize that we no longer need to repeat the same situations again and again in the hope that the story will finally end differently. A relationship can be about mutual presence, safety, respect, and the possibility of remaining ourselves without having to give ourselves up in order for someone to stay.

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As an adult, some of these patterns may feel familiar:

• You are often drawn to people who are emotionally or physically unavailable.

• You find it difficult to trust, watch closely for signs, look for inconsistencies, and struggle to let go of control.

• You feel ashamed of your needs, your emotions, your body, or the way you connect with others.

• You make yourself smaller, give too much, tolerate hurtful comments, and find it difficult to say no.

• You react strongly when you are not listened to, when someone abuses their power, applies double standards, or crosses your boundaries.

• You often assume that you are not lovable, interesting, valuable, or important enough.

• You adapt excessively, try to earn acceptance through achievement, or choose people who never truly choose you.

• You repeatedly experience the same painful situations in your relationships, even when the other person appears completely different from the one before.

• You long for deep closeness while also fearing that, if you truly let someone in, you will once again be abandoned, rejected, deceived, shamed, or controlled.

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In this group, we will also invite the body into the process, helping you rediscover:

• how these relational patterns show up in your body, your emotions, and your automatic reactions,

• what it feels like to come close to someone safely, without having to cling or run away,

• how trust in yourself and in others can gradually be rebuilt,

• how to recognize and hold your own boundaries,

• how to step out of recurring patterns of proving yourself, over-adapting, controlling, and abandoning yourself,

• what it can feel like to be in a relationship where you do not only give, struggle, or defend yourself, but can also ask, receive, and remain fully yourself.
   

You are welcome to join if:

• you would like to understand how earlier relational wounds influence your choice of partners, your boundaries, and your relationship with closeness,

• you often find that the same painful situations repeat themselves in your relationships,

• you would like to develop a more compassionate relationship with yourself and your emotions,

• you would like to experience that connection can mean not only pain and danger, but also safety, mutuality, and freedom.