Brave but lonely... Mothers Living Abroad? When You Finally Have a Space That Holds You Too

Being a mother abroad carries a particular kind of duality. It can hold courage, openness, and the excitement of a new beginning — while also carrying homesickness, overwhelm, language fatigue, and an invisible loneliness. Many expat mothers show up every day: raising children, organizing, adapting, translating, managing, holding everything together. From the outside, things may look fine. But inside, tension often builds, because the familiar support network is no longer there — no grandmother nearby, no old friends, no familiar environment where you can simply lay down what feels heavy. Research shows that the mental wellbeing of migrant and immigrant mothers is strongly influenced by the quality of social support, while isolation and weak social embeddedness are associated with greater vulnerability. (pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov)

This is why a well-held circle can be especially healing for mothers living abroad. Not only because it offers a place to speak, but because you do not have to be strong all the time. You do not have to look composed, you do not have to do everything right, and you do not have to immediately find a solution. You can arrive with what is actually there: exhaustion, guilt, anger, uncertainty, homesickness, or that strange feeling that you are no longer fully at home where you came from — but not yet fully at home where you live now either. Simply being able to name what is happening inside can already have a regulating effect: several studies have found that labeling emotions is associated with lower distress and reduced emotional reactivity. (pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov)

Mothers abroad have often so much more emotional work - often being the only safe place and emotional container for their children, and also holding themselves together, no matter what....

This matters especially in motherhood. The postpartum and early years of parenting are already tender and demanding in themselves, and several studies suggest that immigrant or refugee women during this period may face an increased risk of depressive and anxiety symptoms, partly because of limited support, chronic stress, and unstable circumstances. At the same time, perceived social support acts as a protective factor. (pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov)

Another healing power of a circle is that it restores the experience of “I am not alone in this.” Group process literature has long emphasized that cohesion, belonging, universality, and the safe sharing of emotions are in themselves important healing factors. When an expat mother hears that others are also struggling with similar feelings — absence, too much responsibility, relational distance, cultural disorientation — what often arises is not only relief, but also greater compassion toward herself. (pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov)

This is why a circle can be so healing for mothers living abroad: because it offers not only community, but also, for a little while, an

. A place where you do not have to hold everyone else. A place where your feelings, too, are given room. A place where you are not only a mother, an organizer, an adaptive adult — but also a human being. And sometimes that is exactly where the deepest change begins: in finally not having to hold yourself all alone. (pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov)